DDN: "If you want to be equal then go and get your head blown off in a war, build your own house, and fight your own fights."Do you KNOW this woman? Do you KNOW she hasn't built her own house? Do you KNOW that she doesn't "fight her own fights"? What's so important about fighting anyways? I thought fighting was wrong! As for getting her head blown off in a war, I have news for you: Most years, infinitely more women are murdered by men than the number of soldiers who die as a result of war. Women are targeted because of their gender, much in the same way members of different races and sexualities are the targets of hate crimes. What you are engaging in is backlash, pure and simple. It is blaming the victim, it infuriates me, and as a man it embarrasses me. Take a look around you, get off your goddammed high horse of male privilege and acknowledge your part in all of this. Men need to take some responsibility for the shit they and their friends dish out, instead of playing the old "If that were me..." violin.
In Montreal on December 6, 1989 14 women were murdered by a man who saw them as feminists out to take his place in the world. Your comments do not differ greatly from the comments he made in his letter. While your average man is several steps away from performing such a deed, the average man also seems to spend a lot of time complaining about feminism and women's rights.
This makes me laugh (one I'm done screaming in anger), since the average man is not in danger of being murdered, raped, or beaten by his partner, father, or brother. The average man still earns more money for equal work. The average man still learns to treat women as inferior in most respects, and the average man grows up in a world of privelege.
Are you an average man? I am not afraid to admit my part in all of this, and I am not too weak to make an effort to change it. I will wear a white ribbon on December 6 in honour of those fourteen women and all women everywhere who are murdered by men. Why is it always by men, DDN? Are you not also a part of the male socialization process?
Here are some stats:
National Statistics (U.S.)
A. Partner Abuse
An estimated six million women are assaulted by their male partners each year. Of these, 1.8 million are severely assaulted.(Straus, 1993).
22 to 35% of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to on-going abuse. (JAMA: The Journal of the American Medical Association, 264, NO. 8, 1991)
Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States; more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. ("Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report, "Committee on the Judiciary, October 1992")
About 1 out of 4 women are likely to be abused by partner in her lifetime. ("Violence Against Women" Sara Glazer, Co Researcher, Congressional Quarterly, Inc, 1993)
There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters. (Schneider, 1990 )
B. Intimate Homicide
In 1993, 29% of female murder victims were slain by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends whereas only 3% of male victims were killed by their wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1994).
One recent study found that possessiveness (including infidelity, fear of termination of relationship, and sexual rivalry) was the most prevalent reason given by male offenders for killing their romantic partners. Female offenders killed much more often for self-defense than for any other reason (Rasche, 1993).
C. Cost of Domestic Violence
Every year, domestic violence causes approximately 100,000 days of hospitalization; 28,700 emergency room visits; and 39,900 visits to a physician. This violence costs the nation between $5 and $10 billion per year (Meyer, 1992).
Medical expenses from domestic violence total at least $3 to $5 billion annually. Businesses forfeit another $100 million in loss wages, sick leave, absenteeism and non-productivity. (Domestic Violence for Health Care Providers, 3rd Edition, Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition, 1991)
G. Sexual Assault
1. Rape Rate
According to The National Women's Study, 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year, which equals 56,916 per month; 1,871 per day; 78 per hour; and 1.3 per minute (National Victim Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992)
Sexual assault continues to represent the most rapidly growing violent crime in America. (Dupre, A.R. Hampton, H.L., Morrison, H., and Meeks, G.R. Sexual Assault. Obstetrical and Gynecological Survey. 1993;48:640-648)
Over 700,000 women are sexually assaulted each year. (National Crime Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. Arlington, VA; 1992:1-16.)
It is estimated that fewer than 50% of rapes are reported. (Dupre, A.R. Hampton, H.L., Morrison, H., and Meeks, G.R. Sexual Assault. Obstetrical and Gynecological Survey. 1993;48:640-648)
Approximately 20% of sexual assaults against women are perpetrated by assailants unknown to the victim. The remainder are committed by friends, acquaintances, intimates, and family members. acquaintance rape is particularly common among adolescent victims. (Heise, L.L. Reproductive freedom and violence against women: where are the intersections? J Law Med Ethics. 1993;21(2):206-216.)
Male victims represent five percent of reported sexual assaults. (American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Adolescence. Sexual assault and the adolescent. Pediatrics. 1994;94(5):761-765)
Among female rape victims, 61% are under age 18. (National Victim Center, and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. Arlington, VA; 1992:1-16; (American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Adolescence. Sexual assault and the adolescent. Pediatrics. 1994;94(5):761-765.)
At least 20% of adult women, 15% of college women and 12% of adolescent women have experienced some form of sexual abuse or assault during their lifetimes. (Koss M.P., Hidden rape: sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of students in higher education. In: Burgess A. W., ed Rape and Sexual Assault. New York, NY: Garland Publishing: 1988;2:3-25.)
Taken from: http://www.mc.maricopa.edu/academic/soc_sci/ajs/vaw/national.html
If you still think it is not a war, here is a list of all the women and children murdered by men in the province of Quebec alone, since December 6 1989: http://reseau.chebucto.ns.ca/CommunitySupport/Men4Change/killed.html
If you are still stubbornly in denial, here are some Canadian stats...
http://reseau.chebucto.ns.ca/CommunitySupport/Men4Change/stat.html
