McDonald's gets a visit from Mark Thomas

- The Mark Thomas Product, Friday 1st March, Channel 4, UK, 10.30pm -

Britain's newest favourite comic, Mark Thomas, paid a visit to the Wandsworth Bridge Drive-Thru belonging to a well-known multinational corporation, and took his clowns, cows, tank and rock band along with him.

CLOWNS

"They're clowns, I want to get them a Happy Meal."

"You heard McDonald's told us to get off their pavement, so we wrote to Wandsworth Council and asked them, and guess what? They told a McFib."

COWS

"We're after getting them some beanburgers."

Manager to Crew Member:

"Will you go back to work before I sack you..."

TANK

(To be sung following the standard blues progression in B)

"Well I've been banned by McDonald's,
Yeah McDonald's won't give me any service,
Oh I've been banned by McDonald's,
Yeah McDonald's won't give me any service yeah,
Well, I'm gonna have my aching heart broken,
If I can't get my filet-o-fish.

ROCK BAND

I love your food Ronald and I need some right now.
I need some meat, I need to eat some dead cow.
Oh need some french fries and I need them quick
I need some food with nourishment, not stuff to make me sick.
Ronald McDonald, oh Ronald
I love you, I love you Ronald
Oh yeah."