Greasy Spoon Sweatshop

SETTING:

A fast food restaurant.

There is a kitchen Right Stage, a counter Center Stage and a dining room Left Stage.

The kitchen.

There are three grills: breakfast grill Up Right, a meat clam grill Right Center, and a hotcake grill Down Right. A cart Right Center contains the condiments and is used for preparing the food. There is a bun cabinet Up Right, microwave ovens Down Right, and several fryers Right Center towards the wing.

The counter.

Several cash registers sit along the counter. There should be a holding bin for the sandwiches, a soda fountain, and stacks of paper cups and napkins.

The dining room.

A few tables and chairs. The office area. Situated between the kitchen and counter area, Down Stage.

Exit right to sink area. Exit left to store entrance.

AT RISE:

DEBBIE, MIKE, and JOE enter from Stage Left. JOE locks the door behind them. He is dressed in a white shirt with a tie. DEBBIE goes through the counter area to the kitchen. MIKE begins working at the counter. They are wearing Quickie Burger uniforms; striped shirts, work slacks, and caps. JOE enters the office.

JOE

Did you oversleep?

DEBBIE

My alarm clock did not go off.

JOE

OK, I won't write you up this time, but remember, if you are late three times you'll be suspended for ten days without pay.

DEBBIE (to MIKE)

The managers never get in trouble for being late.

MIKE

Yeah, and if they're late we cannot open the store. We didn't open until 8:00 once because Jeff did not show up.

(DEBBIE is a single mother past her prime. Her hair is dirty and her haggard face is not made up but she was clearly beautiful once. MIKE is an arrogant young man, very sure of himself and ambitious. He is often quite cocky. JOE can be unctuous towards authority figures but he is a tyrant to those beneath him. At heart he is a sullen employee who has risen above himself.)

JOE

Debbie, the closers left a note in the log. They didn't have time to empty the grease traps last night. Will you empty them for me?

DEBBIE

Grease traps. Thank you.

MIKE

Hah, hah. You have to empty the grease traps. Those night shift teenagers don't do anything. I hate working with high school kids. They're all brats.

DEBBIE

I don't have time to do it now. I've got to set up for breakfast.

(DEBBIE hustles about the kitchen, turning equipment on, bringing up meat and eggs from the walk-in fridge, and setting up her equipment. MIKE brews coffee and stocks the counter. JOE counts change into the cash register drawers. The phone rings.)

MIKE

Uh oh, somebody is calling off.

(JOE picks up the phone.)

JOE

Hello? Quickie Burger....Why what's the matter with you?...Oh, all right I'll see if I can get somebody to come in for you.

(Hangs up phone. Looks through rolodex and finds a number. JOE dials the number.)

Hello, Susie? I know it's your day off but Dave called in sick. Can you come in and work six to two?...You got plans, huh? Well thanks anyway, bye.

(Enters kitchen and approaches DEBBIE.)

Debbie, our six o'clock person called in sick so you'll be alone on grill for the first two hours. Our next grill person comes in at eight.

DEBBIE

I can't do meat and eggs and assembly and wrap all by myself.

JOE

Just yell if you need help. Remember, we're a team.

DEBBIE

Mike, have you seen my yellow spatula? I can't find it.

MIKE

Look back on the sink. It should be with the breakfast dishes.

DEBBIE

It's not there. I'll just have to use a white spatula for the eggs.

MIKE

You're not supposed to use a white spatula on the eggs. They'll get contaminated with salmonella.

DEBBIE

Well I don't have a yellow spatula. Everyone leaves towels around the grill area anyway so it is already contaminated.

(DEBBIE and MIKE work quietly but quickly for a few minutes.)

JOE

I'm opening the doors in fifteen minutes. Is everybody ready?

DEBBIE

I'll be ready.

MIKE

I just have to do the shake machine.

(JOE exits to the lobby.)

DEBBIE

Can you give me a hand, Mike? I need to get the meats down.

MIKE

I'm working on the shake machine. I don't have time.

(JOE returns. Several customers appear in the dining room and approach the counter.)

JOE (into the speaker)

Debbie, give me six egg muffins, bacon two, three egg biscuits, sausage one, a hotcakes and sausage, and a muffin only.

DEBBIE

Six muffins bacon two, thank you. You're waiting on the egg biscuits. I don't have the folded eggs down.

JOE

I thought you said we were ready?

(JOE comes back into the kitchen and opens the bun cabinet.)

There's no hotcakes made. Put some hotcakes down. I have a customer waiting for a hotcakes and sausage.

DEBBIE

Hotcakes and sausage, thank you. I'm assembling the egg muffins now.

JOE

I don't need an egg muffin. Just get some damn hotcakes down. I have another customer. I've got to go on counter.

(DEBBIE grabs the hotcake dispenser and spills some batter on her apron. She hurries to cover the grill with hotcakes.)

JOE (into the speaker)

I need an egg biscuit with bacon.

DEBBIE

Egg biscuit with bacon, thank you. I'm doing the hotcakes now. I don't have any folded eggs in the cabinet.

(JOE hurries back into the kitchen and begins to assemble the egg muffins.)

JOE

Debbie, I don't like the quality of these round eggs. Look at this, the yolk is supposed to be slightly runny. These eggs are overdone. I'm going to have to throw these out. Put down some egg muffins. I'm waiting on one.

(JOE tosses the eggs and returns to counter. DEBBIE hurries to the egg grill and cracks a few eggs into the muffin egg ring.)

Where's my hotcakes and sausage?

DEBBIE (Rushes over to the hotcake grill.)

The hotcakes got burnt. I'll have to put some more down.

JOE

Damn it! Get a move on. I want to see some sweat!

DEBBIE

Hey! I had to get the eggs caught up.

(DEBBIE works frantically to lay more hotcakes, assemble breakfast sandwiches, and cook eggs.)

JOE

Where's my egg biscuit?

DEBBIE

It's microwaving now.

(DEBBIE wraps an egg biscuit, microwaves the breakfast sandwich, and passes it up over the counter. Things quiet down as DEBBIE gets the product levels up and customers are served.)

Oh, I forgot about the grease traps.

(DEBBIE brings a filthy bucket into the kitchen and empties a grease trap into it. Black rancid grease, thick with globs of gristle, slops out and splatters her shoes.)!

Shit, I've got cold grease running into my shoes!

MIKE

Mmmmm, yum yum. Have you had your breakfast yet Debbie?

JOE

Mop that up before somebody slips on it.

(DEBBIE pours out the other grease trap.)

I need a sausage muffin with cheese.

DEBBIE

Sausage muffin with cheese, thank you. I can't get that right now. I have to wash my hands after emptying the grease traps.

JOE

That can wait. Get me a sausage muffin with cheese. It is for drive thru.

DEBBIE

(Wipes hands on towel.) All right but my hands aren't clean.

MIKE (To JOE.)

Can I have the keys to the freezer? I need to bring up some coffee creamers.

JOE

All right, but don't forget to lock it back up.

(MIKE walks through the kitchen and exits Right. After a minute he returns with a box of creamers and an empty juice cup.)

MIKE

Look what I found in the freezer.

(He shows the empty juice cup to JOE.)

JOE

God damn it. I wish we could catch whoever is stealing the apple juice. I don't know why we're still finding empty juices in the freezer when we keep it locked up. Debbie, have you been drinking the apple juice in the freezer?

DEBBIE

Me? No! I wouldn't risk my job just for an apple juice.

JOE

Well if I ever find out who is doing this I'll press charges. I'll make their life so miserable they'll wish they'd never walked into this place.

DEBBIE (Aside.)

I already wish I'd never worked here.

(STEVE enters from Left and clocks in. He is a middle-aged black man. His face is ravaged by years of resignation and despair but his eyes blaze as if faith was something he suffered too.)

JOE

I need you to work egg grill this morning. I'm down two crew people already.

STEVE (angry)

Oh, man! We go through this every day. Somebody always calls in sick or doesn't show up. It's not fair to us. We come in and have to do the work of everyone who takes the day off.

JOE

I know. My people just aren't dependable. The shift manager has to change his floor plan to make up for the missing people and we're understaffed for our lunch rush. I'll have to give more verbal warnings for lateness I guess. You're only supposed to call in sick if its an emergency.

STEVE

Well it seems to be an emergency when anybody wants the day off.

JOE

You should find somebody to replace you if you need a day off.

STEVE

That reminds me. Can I have a request off form?

JOE (sighs)

Yes I'll get one for you.

(JOE goes into the office and finds a form which he hands to STEVE.)

Where is your nametag?

STEVE (embarrassed)

Oops! I guess I forgot it.

JOE

Well you're not getting a break today then. If your uniform isn't clean and complete you don't get a break.

(STEVE frowns and becomes sullen as he angrily commences work.)

DEBBIE (to STEVE)

Can you watch grill while I stock for lunch?

STEVE

Sure. I'll call you if I need you.

(DEBBIE exits Right and returns with boxes and bags of stock which she places in the freezers. STEVE cooks eggs.)

JOE (into the speaker)

I need three egg muffins, bacon one.

(STEVE assembles the egg muffins.)

Steve! Did you hear me?

STEVE

I heard you. Three egg muffins, bacon one.

JOE

I want to hear some communication back there. And don't forget the "pleases" and "thank yous".

(STEVE microwaves the egg muffins and passes them up.)

STEVE

Egg muffins up!

JOE

That's more like it.

(STEVE leaves the kitchen and exits Right. He returns after a few minutes.)

Where were you?

STEVE

I was looking for my yellow spatula.

JOE

Don't leave the kitchen area without telling me.

STEVE (to DEBBIE)

I'm surprised they don't shackle me to the grill.

(DEBBIE laughs.)

So how are things going with you?

DEBBIE

Terrible! My landlord raised my rent and I just got a bill for my car insurance.

STEVE

You should ask for more hours.

DEBBIE

I got sent home early yesterday. The labor percentage was too high.

STEVE

How is Christopher?

DEBBIE

He's okay. He keeps pestering me for a Nintendo game but we can't afford it right now.

STEVE

I haven't seen Jim in awhile.

DEBBIE

Yeah, I wonder where he is. He hasn't come in for the past three days. He hasn't called either.

STEVE

Must be really sick.

DEBBIE

Maybe he quit.

STEVE

Did you hear the Republicans don't want to raise the minimum wage?

DEBBIE

Yeah, well they say it would force small companies out of business and cost jobs.

STEVE

Bullshit! I could use a raise and an increase in the minimum wage is the only way I'll get it. We're lucky to get a nickel and dime raise around here. I didn't even get that on my last performance review.

DEBBIE

But if they raise the minimum wage people will lose jobs.

STEVE

Quickie Burger demands maximum effort for the minimum wage. I deserve better than $4.25 an hour. Republicans just don't care about working people.

DEBBIE

I'm a Republican. The Democrats just want to tax and spend. I can't afford to pay a third of my wages in taxes when I have a child to raise on my own. That deadbeat I married makes thirty thousand a year and doesn't pay a cent in alimony or child support. I wish I could find the bum!

STEVE

You're a Republican? They only care about big corporations like Quickie Burger. We pay more in taxes than Quickie Burger does because Republicans are only interested in lowering taxes for the rich. Your taxes probably went up to make up for it.

DEBBIE

They lowered the capital gains tax.

STEVE

The capital gains tax! You only pay that on profit and dividends. You don't even have any capital gains to be taxed, stupid!

DEBBIE

Well lowering the capital gains tax is an incentive for investment and creates more jobs.

STEVE

How about some incentive for hard work? Besides you already have a job so you shouldn't worry about that.

DEBBIE

I would like to find a better job.

STEVE

Lots of luck, girl. Making the rich wealthier won't create any new jobs.

(JOE enters the kitchen and checks the egg cabinet.)

JOE

Steve, you're cooking way too many eggs. The production level only calls for six to eight and you have twelve in here. We'll probably have to waste a few now. Remember, waste comes out of our raises.

STEVE

But if I don't keep my levels up we'll have to wait on eggs. Then it won't look like I'm doing my job very well and I won't get a raise anyway.

JOE

The marinator wasn't turned on. Debbie, did you know the marinator wasn't on?

DEBBIE

I must have forgot it.

JOE

People, people, people. Do I have to explain procedures to you? Both of you have been here a long time. You should know your jobs by now. What are you standing around for Debbie? If you have nothing to do then grab a towel and wipe things down. Time to lean, time to clean.

(MR. ALEXANDER enters Left. He is a stout, middle-aged man dressed in a rumpled business suit.)

MR. ALEXANDER (very upset)

(Screams at MIKE.)

I want to see the fucking manager...Now!

MIKE (blanching)

Joe, I have a customer that wants to see a manager.

JOE (most unctuous)

Yes, how may I help you?

ALEXANDER

Oh you bastard you! You've killed my son! Does that make you happy now, huh?

JOE (alarmed)

I'm sorry, has there been an accident?

ALEXANDER

It was no accident! My son killed himself because of you. He put a shotgun in his mouth and blew his fucking brains out all over the wall! You bastards pushed him to it. He left a note.

(He waves a bloodstained note.)

JOE (stupidly)

Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Was he an employee?

ALEXANDER

Jim Alexander. My son! He's dead now. So you don't have to call to see if he's coming in today. He is never going to work again. Because you assholes put him in his grave!

JOE (in panic)

Oh..ah..did he have a problem we didn't know about?

ALEXANDER

You were his problem, dickwad! Every time he came home from work he was crying. He would tell us how the managers were always harassing him. How he couldn't keep up and would have you bastards yelling at him. He was worried sick that he would be fired. You are a piece of human garbage! What is the big idea trying to force a little boy into doing too much? Can't you motherfuckers lay off a kid? How do you like being screamed at?

JOE (shaking and sobbing)

Gee...I'm sorry...

(MIKE, DEBBIE, and STEVE are profoundly mortified by the scene Mr. ALEXANDER is making. They pass guilty, hangdog glances at each other and shuffle awkwardly about, not knowing what to do. All the other customers have quietly exited Left.)

ALEXANDER

You drove him so sick with worry and stress that he took his own life. You made him feel useless. You humiliated him. Well? What the fuck do you have to say for yourself, asshole? What?

JOE (in a complete panic now)

Oh...oh...would you like a "Be Our Guest" card?

ALEXANDER

Why you bastard!

(He draws back his fist and strikes JOE across the jaw, sending him flying against the bin. He pulls a gun out of his suit and banishes it in the air.)

Quickie Burger guarantees customer satisfaction. Well, I'm damn well going to get some satisfaction today!

(DEBBIE screams. MIKE runs back into the kitchen and STEVE crouches behind a grill.)

JOE

Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Oh please don't shoot me!

ALEXANDER

Oh don't worry mister manager. I won't threaten your life. I'll just threaten your livelihood. Who's doing the firing now, eh?

JOE (pleading)

Just put down the gun! Put the gun down!

ALEXANDER

Don't try bossing me. I'm not a terrified teenager you can push around. You think you're a big man being in charge of a fast food joint? Think you can treat the people under you like dirt because you're somebody? Well it is time someone put you in your place. You're nothing but a little weasel in a white shirt. And your precious restaurant is nothing but a roadside greasy spoon. I got news for you, that makes you a big fat nobody. You're nobody in this community. But do you know who I am? I'm a true pillar of this community. I own more real estate in this town than your entire corporation has in the world. That's it, cower before me! Now you're getting a taste of your own medicine.

JOE (quavering)

If you shoot me you'll go to jail.

ALEXANDER

Don't be too sure, asshole. I'm the judge's best friend.

MIKE

Please don't hurt anybody mister.

ALEXANDER

You don't have to worry. Were you a friend of Jim?

MIKE

Yes I knew Jim. I'm sorry to hear about the accident.

ALEXANDER

It wasn't an accident I told you! How would you like it if I shot this bastard in the leg? Huh? Just say the word and I'll give you the satisfaction.

MIKE

Oh he's all right. Don't shoot him!

ALEXANDER

Don't lie for him, boy. He treats you like dirt, doesn't he?

MIKE

Well...

JOE (outraged)

Mike! I could get shot here!

ALEXANDER

Ha, ha! Just as I thought. Your own employees condemn you. I'm glad to give them the opportunity. My poor Jim was too timid to fight for himself as well. You know when I discovered the note I got to thinking. What somebody ought to do is walk into that restaurant with a gun and fight for those poor souls with some real ammunition. Somebody has to decide enough is enough and stand up for the Quickie Burger employees. Well you finally pushed somebody too far and now it's payback time. Man, this is going to be sweet!

(He cocks his gun and aims at JOE's leg.)

JOE

No please no God no!

ALEXANDER

(Laughs fiendishly and eases the hammer back.)

Want to hear the note my son left me? Want to hear how much he hated your lousy job? How you drove him to take his own life?

(He fishes the bloody note out of his suit pocket and reads in a quavering, emotional voice.)

Dear Dad, I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore. I just can't face another day at work. I know you want me to hold a job and accept responsibility but I guess I'm not cut out for Life. I can't even do my work at Quickie Burger without making everyone scream at me. They yell at me for not working fast enough, for keeping the customers waiting, for not following procedures and everything else. They threatened to terminate me and I know I'll never be able to hold down a job. I'll always be a failure. I have no future so I might as well end it all now. Goodbye.

(He flings the note at JOE who flinches.)

You see? You killed him with your abuse! You broke his spirit and made him feel useless. All because your stinking greasy hamburgers didn't get up there fast enough.

(He grabs hamburgers from the bin and begins throwing them at JOE.)

Here, here, here! Are they coming fast enough for you now?

(He breaks down and sobs brokenly.)

DEBBIE

You should settle this in court and sue Quickie Burger for millions, not come in here with a gun and threaten people. Now you'll be arrested. Jim's suicide won't count for as much as your violence. Why don't you put away the gun and let the law handle this?

ALEXANDER

Oh no! I can't rely upon the courts for justice. Their corporate lawyers will never admit any liability and they have millions to mount a defense. They'll cast aspersions upon Jim's mental health, suggest he was suffering from depression. Or they'll just try to show he was a poor worker and merited discipline. No, this way they can't save their precious reputation. They can't keep this out of the media.

DEBBIE

What are you going to do? Shoot Joe?

ALEXANDER

He deserves it! We're going to wait until the police get here and then I'm going to make a few demands.

JOE

You mean we are hostages?

ALEXANDER

Just you. Your employees are my honored guests at this occasion, the downfall of Quickie Burger.

STEVE

Cool. Just as long as I'm still on the clock and get paid while we wait.

JOE

Steve, I don't think that's funny. Go clock out.

STEVE

No!

ALEXANDER

He doesn't have to be servile to you now. How do they treat you here Steve?

STEVE (evasively)

All right I guess.

ALEXANDER

Don't hold back for his sake. Tell me the truth.

STEVE

Well they are pretty strict about procedures. Once they told me that I had to sweep the floor from front to back, left to right and no other way.

JOE

That's a lie!

ALEXANDER

You shut up! What else?

STEVE

I was written up and denied a promotion because my badge was on crooked. They are always on my case because I don't communicate. They want you to acknowledge every order with a thank you. It sounds so stupid after awhile.

DEBBIE

I have to work on buns almost every day. It gets so monotonous doing nothing but toasting buns. And they never give me enough time to get my work done. Like setting up the kitchen for breakfast in the morning. I have to find all the equipment, turn everything on, bring up all the stock we'll need over breakfast, and then cook on three grills at once. I never have the time to get all that done before we open. I got yelled at today because of that.

ALEXANDER

Jim used to complain like that. But I never had the time to listen. I never took his problems seriously enough. I didn't consider his job at Quickie Burger to be a real job. I should have paid more attention to the stress he was suffering from. He was being pushed to perform work too hard for him, without assistance and under terrible conditions. That can be a living hell for a kid. But you just don't consider that kind of job to be real work. It's that damn Quickie Burger! What kind of name is that for a business? Come in for a quickie, ha! They cheapen everything. But that doesn't cheapen the misery they put their employees through.

DEBBIE

I knew Jim. He was a nice kid but he was just too sensitive for this job. He would get all upset if you so much as corrected him on how to rack fries.

ALEXANDER

I suppose that is my fault. I tried to instill in him a sense of duty and responsibility. I made him earn my respect and approval by always doing his duty to me and others. If he didn't do what was expected of him I let him know he would be harshly chewed out for it.

JOE (less afraid now)

Aha, so we are not completely to blame, are we?

ALEXANDER

Don't you dare make excuses for yourself, you bastard! It doesn't matter how sensitive Jim was, the point is you treated him abusively and he blamed you for what he did.

DEBBIE

Yeah, don't blame yourself Mr. Alexander. I'm sure you did the best you could to raise your son. I have a son too, Christopher. He is six. I don't like leaving him home alone while I work, even if it is part time, but what can I do? We have to eat and pay rent, just barely. I do the best I can by him. That is all anyone can expect.

STEVE

They should start a charity for Quickie Burger employees to help us pay our bills. What an insult that would be to the corporation! While they ask for donations to their favorite charities, their own employees would be the recipients of charity.

DEBBIE

Working people don't need charity! I don't need charity. I'm supporting myself and my son on minimum wage.

STEVE

Oh really. Didn't you tell me once that you receive food stamps?

DEBBIE (embarrassed)

Well that's different. It's a program to help working mothers provide nutrition to their children. I only get food stamps for certain things like dairy products. It is a government program, not charity. Our taxes pay for it so why not take advantage of it?

STEVE

And don't you get a rent allowance on your mobile home in the trailer park? I heard the housing authority enforces rent stabilization at that trailer park. You are receiving all kinds of public support to make up for Quickie Burger's low wages. The government practically subsidizes the fast food workforce just so Quickie Burger can make billions in profits. Profits made possible by low overhead in labor costs.

JOE (suspicious)

You seem to know a lot of that liberal bullshit. Don't go badmouthing Quickie Burger. You know you can be terminated for criticizing the company or our products.

ALEXANDER

You seem to be forgetting that I'm going to take care of your precious reputation. I'll see to it that your stupid roadside sign is pulled down in a firestorm of public outrage.

JOE

We will all lose our jobs if Quickie Burger goes out of business.

ALEXANDER

They are lousy jobs not worth having. Good riddance to Quickie Burger!

(A police bullhorn is heard from the wings, Left.)

POLICE

You in there! Come out with your hands up and you won't be harmed.

ALEXANDER (nervous)

Well the police have finally got here.

JOE (vindictively)

Give yourself up!

(The telephone rings. ALEXANDER answers the phone, glancing nervously towards the dining room, Left.)

ALEXANDER

Hello?...Yes I'm the man with the gun...No, nobody has been hurt...I'm not holding anyone hostage but nobody will be allowed to leave...I won't come out until a few simple demands are met. All I want is the owner of this establishment to make a statement regarding the death of my son and then I'll surrender peaceably...He committed suicide. He was an employee here...Yes...Ok I'll wait.

(He hangs up the phone.)

The owner is on his way. They've already notified him. Soon this will all be over and nobody will have been hurt.

JOE

Oh my God, Keith will be here! We are in big trouble now.

STEVE

Keith will be pretty bummed out by this. He is losing money while we're held hostage.

JOE

The garbage hasn't been taken out and the backroom is a mess.

DEBBIE

All the eggs in the holding cabinet have expired.

MIKE

The dining room hasn't been swept and mopped.

ALEXANDER

Hey, get a grip on reality people! None of that matters once the public learns this restaurant is so abusive to its employees that a young man killed himself rather than work another day here. Think of their outrage over the waste of a life just to deliver worthless burgers faster.

JOE

We'll be ruined!

ALEXANDER (smugly)

Exactly!

POLICE (Over bullhorn.)

Mr Alexander? The owner and the media are here. They are coming in with a police officer to meet your demands.

ALEXANDER

Here we go.

(KEITH, a television cameraman, a television journalist, and a police officer cautiously enter, Left. KEITH is a distinguished looking old man, hair grey at the temples. He speaks well and with authority but sometimes seems injured by the resentment he feels he doesn't deserve.)

KEITH

I'm real sorry to hear about your son, Mr Alexander. Jim was a great employee and we will truly miss him here. If there is anything we can do to help, just let us know.

ALEXANDER

Thanks. There is something you can do and then I will turn myself over to the police. Is that camera on?

JOURNALIST

We are rolling. This is being broadcast live.

ALEXANDER (quietly but fiercely)

My son committed suicide because he was pressured to do more work than he could handle. When he couldn't keep up with the demands made upon him, he was threatened and verbally abused by the management of Quickie Burger. He was treated so poorly that he couldn't face another day of their harassment.

KEITH

We follow all the child labor laws. I'm sure your son wasn't asked to do anything dangerous or physically demanding.

ALEXANDER

Shut your hole! That wasn't what I was saying. I want you to publicly accept responsibility for my son's suicide. I want you to admit that you abuse your employees making this an unfit working environment for our children. Quickie Burger is a damn sweatshop!

KEITH (reluctantly)

Very well. If our management did not treat your son with respect and common decency, then I apologize. It never should have happened. Our policies clearly state that employees are to be treated better than Jim apparently was. The management should have worked something out if there was a problem. I assure you this mistake will never happen again.

ALEXANDER (pleased)

Thank you. That was all I wanted to hear.

(He hands his gun to the police officer.)

POLICE

Mr Alexander, I'm placing you under arrest for assault with a deadly weapon. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney the court will provide you with one. Do you understand your rights?

ALEXANDER

Yes.

(The police officer handcuffs ALEXANDER and leads him offstage, Left. The cameraman and journalist follow them.)

KEITH

Whew! I'm glad that's over. Was anybody hurt?

JOE

Nope. We are all right.

KEITH

Good. Now let's get back to business. I'm sure we'll have a big lunch rush with all the media attention this is getting. The curious and our regular customers will be dropping in to gossip about the excitement.

JOE

Won't this be bad publicity? Shouldn't we close for the remainder of the day to show our respect for Jim?

KEITH

What? After his father comes in here and threatens my crew with a gun? He was a distraught maniac. He forced me to admit wrong doing but we didn't really break any laws. We can't be held responsible for his son's suicide. Insanity obviously runs in that family! If Jim couldn't handle his job then he should have quit. I'm sure we'll find some other reasons for his suicide. No doubt his father had more to do with it than we do.

JOE

(Holds up the bloody suicide note.)

Mr Alexander threw the suicide note at me. It places all the blame on Quickie Burger.

KEITH

Let me see that!

(He reads the note and then tears it up.)

There, now there's no evidence that Jim killed himself because of his job. If all of you want to keep your jobs you won't mention that note because that kind of scandal could put this restaurant out of business.