[Let it be snipped]: Well, actually you may find it reassuring to hear that the 144,000 saved (mentioned in Revelations) are to be drawn from the 12 Tribes of Israel. The only thing the Goyem will be doing in heaven, according to the scripture, is serving as slaves for the annointed.
Slaves, eh? Does that mean I can order blond shiksas to do anything? I'm starting to believe, yes I am!
:Gotch is pretty much screwed over by the faith he's put so much stock in. On the other hand, the works you mentioned, plus your ancestry, put you on John of Patmos' short list, and your family and friends can probably ride in on your coat tails.
That's great! Now all I have to worry about are taxes.
:When Gotch comes to be your personal slave in the after life, as his bible claims he will, please remember to treat him with as much respect and kindness as the Christians have treated others in this world...no wait, that's cruel. (Fortunately for me, I won't be going. Me and Lark are going to stick around and haunt holy people in bars ha ha ;-)
Gotch, my slave? Nuh-uh. My slave won't be named Gotch. She'll be named Inga, and she'll be treated very well.
: : What a shame that all these people who lead decent lives and strive to help others are going to hell. It's too bad we're all not a gang of murderous rapist torturers who lead lives of sin, but repent on our death beds and accept Christ, thereby gaining a ticket to heaven.
: That, more than anything else, is the reason why I can't take fundamentalism seriously. Catholicism at least requires good works and regular confession throughout one's lifetime. None of this deathbed conversion nonsense. It's this mindset that convinces the fundies that people are basically horrid, I'll bet, since the only reason they see for being nice to each other is to keep Sky Daddy from giving them a thrashing when he gets home. If that's really the nature of god, I want nothing to do with the petty little jerk, frankly! Fortunately it's possible to believe in a god who isn't a playground bully or a small-minded thug.
: -Floyd
Ever read Mark Twain's "Letters from Earth?" They're hysterical. Satan is bored, so he goes to spend some time on Earth and ends up sending touristy-type letters to the other Archangels. One of the funniest is where he complains about human beings' idea of heaven: a place where people play harps all day and worship God by singing hosannas, and that's it - no sex, no drinking, no gambling, etc. Satan thought that was ridiculous because the average human didn't play an instrument, much less a harp, and most people can't wait to get out of church, much less spend an eternity in it. And all the stuff that people really find fun won't be in heaven! Forget it. I prefer the Islamic version, which is rife with hedonistic pleasures like Inga.
None.
